Bon Appetit

Those of you that know me well, know that I love to eat and that I love to cook. How I only weigh 115 pounds still remains a mystery to me and to those that have witnessed me eat. Though I am just an amateur cook, cooking is still an activity that I enjoy and do often. It has also been a shared passion in many of my previous relationships and I often date men that have an interest in cooking.

Chris is 26 and is a beer manager at a local beer and cigar store. I viewed his profile on Okcupid and became very interested (and intimidated) when I read that he had worked as a chef. Our IM dialogue went well, so we exchanged numbers and decided to meet in person.

We agreed to get drinks and as a beer connoisseur, I thought it was only appropriate for Chris to pick the location. We met at the Library in the South Side and sat at a small table by the window. Chris is tall (which I love) and has a beard (which is my new found love) and had no problems engaging in a conversation.

For our second date we went to Dave and Busters for some friendly competition. I'm not a competitive person but it was obvious that I was better than him at air hockey after beating him twice and letting him win the third game. We soon realized that playing team video games would have a better outcome for the both of us.

After our second date Chris sent me a text messaging reading that he wanted our next date to have less distractions so we could talk about "where this is going." Where what is going? Chris never heard from me again.

-Michelle

Marketing Yourself Online

I’ve been using online dating sites for 9 months and I have viewed both good and bad profiles. From my experiences I have developed a list of do’s and don’ts when creating an online dating profile.

Do create a witty and creative username; highlight your interests or hobbies. Members will notice your username and may be turned on or off by it.

Don’t use your real name. It’s easy to search someone using Google and find a plethora of information. Don’t over sexualize your username. HugeWangWilson (actual username) is not what’s hot.

Do post current pictures of yourself. If you own a cell phone, camera, or webcam, there is no excuse for why you can’t post any pictures. Post close up pictures of your face, full body pictures (clothed, of course), and pictures of you enjoying your hobbies and passions. If you have pets, involve them in your photo op because who doesn’t love furry little creatures.

Don’t take pictures using your dirty bathroom mirror. Grab a paper towel and Windex if you must. Don’t post a picture of you and five of your friends. No one wants to play Where’s Waldo. Don’t post pictures specifically of your abs (especially in front of a dirty mirror). “You’re so vain…” NEVER EVER post pictures of your reproductive organs (I’m so PC) because it’s TACKY. You would be surprised by the number of people that actually do.

Do complete all of the fields in the profile. People may custom their searches and you could be overlooked because you left something blank.

Don’t lie about your appearance, background, lifestyle, or anything for that matter. Once you dig that hole, you have to keep digging.

Do share your passions and interests. If you enjoy coaching a youth football team, share that in your profile. The reader may share similar interests with you and it will provide an opportunity for you all to connect. And no one wants to date anyone who no hobbies. That’s just boring.

Don’t be afraid to show your nerdy/geeky side. It is what makes you, you.

Don’t come off as being cocky or a douchebag. You will attract just the same...Unless you’re into that.

Do articulate specific qualities that you are looking for in your match.

Don’t mention how important trust is to you because your ex cheated. You might as well wear a shirt that reads “Yes, I’m single and very bitter.”

Do use spell check, correct grammar, punctuation, and actual WORDS. Who wants to read a sentence written like this “I’m definately looking 4 mrs. Write.”

Don’t be afraid to ask a friend to look over your profile. They can offer your constructive feedback or ideas of what to include.

If you follow those basic rules, you are on the way to a great profile. If you don’t, well, good luck.

-Michelle

Awkward Turtle

Text messaging has become the dominant form of communication for my generation. I personally hate talking on the phone but there are some situations when a conversation over the phone is warranted. For example, after exchanging emails via an online dating site and before going on a first date. This is usually a rule for me but sometimes rules get broken and in this case, I wish I would have played it by the book.

James and I exchanged messages on Okcupid. He is 27 and after working full-time for a few years, decided to pursue a master's degree at Pitt. He wants to work as an archivist at a library or museum after graduation. James is tall (which I love) and from his profile, seemed very outgoing and spontaneous (which I also love). We agreed to get drinks at Harris Grill when he returned from his trip to Michigan.

I arrived at Harris Grill first and requested a table upstairs. James looked like his photos but his personality wasn't exactly what I expected. He was socially awkward and refrained from making eye contact with me during our date. I was forced to carry the entire conversation which has proven to be a lot more difficult then it sounds. I was holding the duty phone for a coworker and luckily after about 45 minutes, received a text message from her saying she could pick up the phone which I used as an excuse to get out of there. Saved by the text!

Will I see James again? Oh hell no. I could see him but he wouldn't see me.

-Michelle

REJECTED

I received a message from John aka Beaver Falls on Match.com expressing his interest. My coworker had actually gone on a date with him, so I had no desire to communicate with him. I sent him the automated "Thanks, but no thanks" reply which he did not take very well. His response was " Don't flatter yourself. I send that message to every girl and you're not even my type." Again I sent the "Thanks, but no thanks" reply. Some people don't handle rejection very well.

-Michelle