Advice from the Date Doctor

For our second date, Nate and I met at the Andy Warhol Museum for Good Friday. We both love museums, so what better way to appreciate art than with a drink. And if you've never been there, you'll need a drink or two for the art to make any sense.

During our date I immediately thought of one of the opening scenes from the movie "Hitch" when Neil and Mika go on their first date to an art gallery. "The key tonight is to hang back; give her plenty of space. If she lingers at a photography, move on but maintain a visual." I'm quite sure that Nate didn't receive advice from a date doctor or anyone for that matter, but it's definitely fun to think about if he did.

We viewed the different exhibits, sharing our thoughts and reflections about the varying pieces and engaging in random conversations. When we came to the Silver Clouds installation, I began to see a more jovial side of Nate. We played with the silver pillow-shaped balloons until we were scowled by a museum worker because our fellow balloon tossers in the room were being too aggressive.

One of the exhibits included showings of several short black and white films many of which did not have any sound. We found the film of the woman playing with a stuffed cat while straddling a man on a couch the most intriguing and we decided to do the voices of the characters. The script remained PG-13 for the most part, but it was very obvious by the end that the man had a thing for the cat.

We eventually made our way back to the lobby for another drink and were forced to listen to the atrocious sounds of an unknown band. We chatted about music until we were "politely" informed that it was 10pm and the museum was closed. Though our date ended abruptly, we both had a good time and briefly talked about getting together again. For our third date we are going to see Friends With Benefits at the drive-in theater tonight. Advice or not, what Nate is doing is obviously working.

-Michelle

A Date With the Enemy

Former Harvard president was recently quoted saying "...if an undergraduate is wearing a tie and jacket on Thursday afternoon at three o'clock, there are two possibilities. One is that they're looking for a job and have an interview; the other is that they are an asshole..." Well I would like to add a third possibility; that they are the SGA president.

I don't like dating men that are too polished and Silas was just that. He was president of SGA when he was in college and currently works in politics with unions. He had a bright white smile, great hair, perfect posture, and when he took a minute to think, it looked as if he was developing strategies to end wars and create world peace.

I noticed that Silas was "stalking" my okcupid profile on Sunday, so I sent him a message to break the ice. We began by discussing our love for food and cooking and shared places we enjoyed dining at in the city. I later noticed that his instant messaging was turned on and we chatted for about an hour before exchanging numbers. He told me that my assertiveness was refreshing and I saw that as an opportunity to move things forward.

On Tuesday we met at Tamari for sushi and drinks. Silas was wearing khaki slacks, a baby blue linen shirt, and he looked as if he had spent more time on his hair than I had did on mine. Ugh. During our date I kept questioning his sexuality or wondering if he was just simple a metro. Either way the sushi was great but the sangria was a little watered down.

Will I go on a another date with Silas? Ummm...probably not but I do highly recommend trying the Chipotle Tuna Tartar at Tamari.

-Michelle

A Tale of Two Cynics

I've received quite a few messages varying in quality from men of different ages and backgrounds. When composing an email, the sender has an unlimited amount of time to draft and revise the message. Because of this, I tend to be very critical when reading the emails that I receive. A message that simply reads "Hi" or has numerous grammatical errors or misspellings does not evoke a response from me. I appreciate when a man mentions what on my profile interested him, what we have in common, and more about himself. On June 29th I received an email from Nate on Match.com that was short and simple yet refreshingly genuine.

Nate is a 27 year old engineer's assistant from York, PA. He went to school for film, but did not pursue a career in that field though he is currently writing two screenplays. Nate is only 5'10" (I prefer taller men) and average looking but he is active which keeps him in shape and has soft blue eyes. He has a very mild temperament and a great sense of humor.

After communicating over the internet and phone for about two weeks, we agreed to met at Shady Grove this past Monday for drinks. During our date we spent a lot of time talking about movies, TV shows, and books. We're both Netflix junkies and enjoy the occasional book. We share a lot of common interests and were able to make recommendations to each other about movies and TV shows to watch and books to read.

During our conversations we learned that we are both introverted cynics. We both enjoy living alone because the activity of entertaining someone at night after interacting with people all day can be tiresome. We agreed that it is nice to come home with the option to spend time with friends or to not be bothered. We both like watching and attending sporting events but we are unwilling to make the emotional commitment it takes to be a fan. Neither of us are sure if we want to get married and having children seems to be out of the question.

Being on a date with Nate was like being on a date with my introverted self; there were a few quiet and awkward silences. Because I am an introvert, I usually date men that are more extroverted and outgoing which seems to be a good balance for me. But of course there is an exception to every rule. Nate seems like a very kind and genuine person and I enjoyed our conversations. Will I go on another date with him you ask? Why yes. I am seeing him tomorrow night.

-Michelle

The Megabus-Where I do My Best Thinking

I’ve been single (and ready to mingle) for 6 months after ending a 3.5 year relationship. The relationship was over before it began, so the decision to start dating again wasn’t a difficult one. I work at a university, so meeting men at or through work can be problematic. I can’t date students (unless I want to lose my job) and many of the professionals are fairly older and unfortunately, unattractive. Apparently it’s not cool to meet people in bars anymore and in social events/outings, people are usually more engaged with their friends and not looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t get hit on that often in everyday life (surprising, I know!). As a result, I decided to try online dating. In February I joined the free online dating website okcupid and subscribed to match.

After experiencing traumatic and dramatic events in my life, I’ve learned to find humor in everything. Online dating has proven to be very entertaining and I often question if I am on an episode of “Punk’D” and Ashton Kutcher is lurking around the corner filming this foolishness called my life. I am rather open about some aspects of my life and I enjoy sharing my online dating experiences with my coworkers/friends. We laugh (and I sometimes cry) about how stupid, naïve, and self-absorbed men can be (I’m not a man hater. I promise).

While on the Megabus in route to DC for the 4^th of July weekend, I had the brilliant idea to start blogging about my experiences in online dating. Through this blog I hope to demystify the world of online dating. I’m a 25 year old black, middle class woman with two degrees, and a full time job. We all have our baggage but I would like to believe that for the most part I am sane and normal though those who know me well may disagree. I am just like YOU and if I can use online dating sites, there is no reason why you can’t.

I will share do’s and don’ts of creating and maintaining an online dating site profile and how to create and respond to messages. I will also post both good and bad examples of profiles that I have viewed and messages that I have received. You would be surprised what people with write when left alone with a computer and given access to the internet. Most importantly, I will give details of dates I have had with men that I meet on the online dating sites.

Enjoy.

-Michelle